Good, Outline! Good boy! Sit! Sit, Outline! Roll over!

Here are some examples of outlines that need a bath.
The RED writing is the original. The one following the red one is mine.

Topic: Gatsby as a Christ Figure
I.A. Platonic Conception (page 98)
B. About my Father's Business (page 98)
C. The mattress (page 161)

II.A. Hard rock on the wet marshes (page 2)
B. Gatsby's book (page 173)
III. A. Communion (Page 11)
B. Eckleberg (page 160)
IV. A. The valley of ashes (page 23)
B. No one came to Gatsby's funeral (page 164)

CRITIQUE:
This outline has no main points. All it has are concrete details. Therefore, we do not know what point is trying to be made. For all we know, this is a dog that has a tail growing out of its head. That would look like a unicorn dog, and those do not exist, as opposed to real unicorns which...well, perhaps the comparison is lost...but the point is that the reader of the outline cannot make heads or tails of what the writer is planning for the essay. So how is the reader going to be able to follow the writing?
Below you will find a better way to organize it.

I. Gatsby's Conception
a. platonic conception
i. platonic can mean without intimacy
ii. platonic can mean ideal
iii. Gatsby was both. He rejected his parents and recreated himself "just the way a 17 year old boy would. And to that conception he was fateful to the end" (98).
b. Contrast this with what Christ's conception
i. One is man made; one is God made.
ii. One rejected his father; the other embraced him.

II. Gatsby's Youth
a. He was about his father's business.
i. his father's business is of a "vast vulgar and meretricious beauty" (98).
ii. explain why he did everything he did (for himself...to fulfill the dream of having Daisy)
b. Contrast that with what Christ was in the service of.

Conclusion: (Note: this is not a paragraph, I am just connecting some dots for you.)
Wealth, in the novel, causes people's hearts to decay. They become cold toward those below them. Gatsby was so focused on his grail that he became consumed by it. Every decision he made served to fulfill that dream. Fitzgerald is trying to emphasize the futility of the American dream.

QUESTIONS FOR YOU?
1. HOW IS THE STRUCTURE OF MY OUTLINE DIFFERENT FROM THE OTHER ONE?
2. WHAT DO ALL THE SUB-TOPICS HAVE IN COMMON? IN OTHER WORDS, WHO DO ALL OF THE As DEAL WITH? WHAT DO ALL OF THE Bs FOCUS ON?
3. DO THE SUBTOPICS RELATE TO THE MAJOR TOPICS (BY THE ROMAN NUMERALS)?